Crystal Graham: I can’t sing, I can’t dance

crystal grahamI watch a lot of things on TV that my husband does not approve of.

I think it must be something in the female genes that we are drawn to programs very different than our male counterparts.

Take for example, American Idol.

I’m not a teen, and yet, I find myself drawn to this program.

Of course, he’s more disapproving of shows like The Bachelor and The Apprentice, but hey, I enjoy them, and that’s all that matters, right?

I’m not watching some of the other shows on TV this season – all the wife swap, weight loss, plastic surgery shows out there.

So hey, my TV habits could be worse.

Anyway, American Idol started its new season this week – and like the seasons before it – it showed the highlights of auditions throughout the nation.

This year, Washington D.C. was among the places to try out.

And I’m sorry, ya’ll, but like always, there were a lot of people that auditioned that could not sing to save their lives.

There was one young man from Harrisonburg that may have put the Friendly City on the map – but for all the wrong reasons.

I’m the first to admit – I can’t sing.

I can’t dance.

There are lots of things I’m talented at … but those two are not on my list.

I have been taking an exercise class this month – part of my New Year’s resolution.

And at the end of the class, we’re all supposed to sing a song the instructor selected because it should serve as an inspiration to us.

And I’m OK with that.

But you can bet that I stand in the back, and I’m not belting out the tune like I’m the world’s greatest singer.

I sing in the shower, in the car, and maybe, once or twice, in front of my husband.

What I can’t figure out is how people who can’t sing a note to save their lives actually think they have a shot at becoming a pop star.

I mean, give me a break.

They have to know whether they have talent or not … they have to know if their voice breaks on a crescendo, they don’t have a shot at superstardom.

They just … have to know.

Virginia was in the spotlight for sure.

But I think there were more bad than good auditions on the highlight reel.

And some were really, really bad.

And I know there are some great performers in the state.

A couple of years ago, I covered the Major Solo Vocalist Search in Waynesboro. It was an American Idol-like competition with mostly local singers.

And I have to tell you, every one of those participants were better than what I heard on television this week.

I can’t figure out why those contestants didn’t audition for American Idol.

And there are so many talented young people involved with ShenanArts and other local productions.

All I can say is that it must be great to make the American Idol competition.

But I don’t think it’s the best singers that the state has to offer that made it to the competition.

I hope I’m wrong.

Anyway, I think there are a couple more of these shows with auditions and then it’s on to the main event.

And whether my husband likes it or not, I’ll be watching for a star to be born.

And hopefully, not another William Hung.

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