Complain about this

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham

I’m so sick and tired of people complaining all the time that …

Ahem.

It’s all you hear people do.

“I’ve got a cold.” “My back hurts.”

“We’re losing the war.”

“We’re winning the war – and people say we’re losing it.”

I’m losing it.

I can’t take this anymore.

“I’m flat broke, man.”

“I need a new hat.”

“I’ve got to lose weight.”

What a country we live in.

We work all the time, we eat all the time, we watch TV all the time – and we complain all the time about how we have to work and how fat we are and how there’s nothing on the TV.

Seriously, it’s about time for an attitude adjustment.

Only I don’t know who’s qualified to serve it up to us.

“I would – but I’m too busy.”

“Too much housework to do.”

“I’ve got crabgrass.”

This is the kind of thing that we do – constantly.

Complain, complain, complain.

Why is it that we complain all the time?

I think it’s because we’ve got it too good.

Think about it. Even our poor people here are wealthy compared to the middle class of other societies.

And when you compare us to people throughout world history, well, we’ve got it made in the shade.

Few of us really wont for food.

We’ve all got shelter – maybe not 10,000-square-foot mansions, but shelter.

We can all read and write.

And when it comes down to it, we’re all the masters of our destinies.

And yet we complain.

I’ve had it.

THIS JUST IN: Ironic, isn’t it – that he’s complaining about all the complaining?

Er …

Yes, it is. I suppose.

 

Chris Graham’s Stop the Presses column appears on this blog on Tuesdays and Fridays. For more on Chris Graham’s humor columns and other fiction writing, visit www.authorchrisgraham.com.

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