Chris Saxman: Cold Fusion Friday

The national average for a gallon of gasoline is racing faster to $4.00 than the white coats chasing Charlie Sheen. And that’s saying something…

The Academy Awards Show equaled the Black Eyed Peas Super Bowl Halftime show in banality, beastly dresses (really? google Cate Blanchett) and bad music. I actually found myself wanting the Oscars of the last two decades in which the winners droned on about the plight of Central American banana farmers or Tibetan livestock or how the price of soy lattes was being outpaced by core inflation. Okay, they never complained about lattes because it’s important to pay for organic fair trade coffee since the oppressive landlords treat the….never mind….

Anyway, there were some highlights at the Oscars. Annette Bening shushing Warren Beatty who was not ready for prime time. The men dressed well – black tuxedos. How hard is that? The King’s Speech won which was great since it’s the only movie I have seen this year. Billy Crystal made an appearance and brought the house to its feet because they were dying to have a break from the hosts – Franco and Hathaway.

They were to hosting the Oscars what the toys from the Island of Misfit Toys were to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Cute, but I never understood why there had to be a Island of Misfits Toys or why the Academy picked Franco and Hathaway.

Hollywood and the Oscars miss Bob Hope. Not because he was self deprecating and witty and Bob Hope. They miss Bob Hope because Bob Hope had class. There does not seem to be any true greatness to Hollywood anymore. That’s not entirely true – they specialize now in special effects and that’s part of the problem…a BIG part of the problem. Great stories, don’t need special effects.

Why all this about the Oscars?

People want to escape this reality and go to the movies. Thankfully, The King’s Speech is a movie worth seeing. Great story. Great lead actor in Colin Firth and great supporting cast. Moreover, you get to see what happens when great stories are brought to Hollywood to be made. Production, cinematography, sound, editing, direction – all were terrific. Is it one of the best films ever? Probably not, but like wine, the best age well. Go see it. It’s a great story.

Back to politics – Rasmussen has Obama at -8 among likely voters and still GOP wannabes are not running through walls to announce their candidacy. Newt announced he was forming an exploratory committee. Mitt’s in – probably. Huckabee is waiting until the summer to decide. Tim Pawlenty (former governor of Minnesota has a book out and is running) who, if he had a T PAW tattooed across his forehead, would stump the panel on What’s My Line?. Thune is out. Palin is very quiet these days. So quiet that even Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann is being considered, at least by herself, as a candidate. It seems like the one that everyone in the GOP wants to run – Chris Christie – will not. Which validates my opinion of him (DOES. HIS. JOB.) Really, this could be a borderline man crush. He could be the game changer – some day.

Why aren’t people running like crazy against a guy who just lost badly in November? It’s early. Especially for the big names. But mainly because when you do announce all the rules and regulations kick in. Like a lot of life in America these days – it’s just easier not to. Besides, as soon as you stick your head out to run, it’s like Whack A Mole at the amusement park – tons of people line up to smack you upside the head.

The really bad news this week was in a Wall St Journal poll that showed that only 22% of Americans support cutting entitlement programs Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security. With a back drop of protesting union supporters in Wisconsin and Ohio – this country, in the words of Colonel Nathan Jessup, just can’t handle the truth.

The truth is we are out of money. Out of paper and out of ink. And fresh out of leading men in Hollywood like John Wayne. This movie we live everyday needs John Wayne and (as much as I love Jimmy Stewart) not Jimmy Stewart.

We need someone who can shoot the bad guys while telling us we have been soft and dumb without making us feel like we have been soft and dumb. We need inspiration and aspiration. We need the Duke. We need the Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, the Quiet Man who bested Will Danaher and the man who charged the Sands of Iwo Jima – Sgt. John M Stryker United States Marine Corps. Yeah, that’s what this town needs. The Duke.

A straight talkin, straight shootin man’s man who doesn’t need the girl but wants the girl. A man who drinks whiskey not smoothies or soy lattes. A guy who straps on the helmet and would never think about going on strike when the bills can’t be paid.

We need a leader who will push for energy independence, jobs that make something and government programs that work while being fiscally sound.

And we don’t need him to run for President. But we do need him to be the Governor of New Jersey and Wisconsin and Ohio and Pennsylvania and Florida and Louisiana and Virginia.

We didn’t get here overnight and we won’t get out of here overnight. The states (and local governments) are the laboratories of innovation because the have to be. They handle the truth unlike the folks at 1600 Penn Ave whose policies make Charlie Sheen look sane and rational. No, that’s unfair. It’s the same disease just a different manifestation and Sheen isn’t spending my money. Sorry Charlie for the comparison.

Why pile on the guy? He can’t spell Qadhafi either. Or is it Gadhafi?

$4 a gallon. Coming to a theater near you.

Column by Chris Saxman


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