“There is a star in the east,” said Jerry, a magi.
Whatever that is.
A wise man.
I think.
“So?” asked his good friend, Earl, who was also a magi.
Earl was not easily impressed by much.
Especially Jerry’s penchant for picking out new stars and telling everybody about what they supposedly stood for.
“Star or no star, it’s cold. Let’s go home,” a third magi, their friend Larry, said.
Some way to start the first Christmas, huh?
But then, it was.
Cold, that is.
It was, after all, Dec. 25.
And even in the desert of the Roman state of Palestine, in the Middle East, Dec. 25 is pretty much cold.
“Fellas, don’t you know what this means?” Jerry asked his fellow magi, all excited.
“Um, no.”
“Christ is born,” Jerry said.
“Christ?” Earl asked.
“Who’s that?” Larry asked.
“I’m not sure,” Jerry said, still excited – but, you know, like he said, unsure about why.
“But anyway. We’re supposed to follow the star and see Him.”
“OK,” his friends said.
So the magi got on their camels and set out, the star in the east as their guide.
They knew not the way they were going, nor did they know what they would see when they got there.
Well, except that it was a baby they were looking for, a baby called Christ, who was born in a manger, for He had no crib for a bed.
Jerry told his friends about this as they rode across the desert, following the star.
The magi were intrigued, especially about what a manger was.
So he told them more, about how the baby was born in a barn outside an inn, because the manager told the baby’s parents that he had no room for them there.
“What a loser,” Earl said. “I mean, what kind of, um, person, makes a pregnant lady go out into a barn with the donkeys and all to have birth?”
“A geek,” Larry said.
“A circus geek,” Earl said.
“Yeah,” Jerry said.
Agreeing with them both.
As they talked, the magi slogged their way across the vast desert separating them from Christ, the camels leading the way.
They were going on faith, a faith that, well, Jerry knew what he was talking about – if not perhaps a higher faith, that Christ, this baby, was, you know, um.
Hmmm.
“What do you know about this kid?” Earl asked Jerry, suddenly perplexed.
“You know, why do we have to follow this star to go see Him? Is it just because He’s in a manger? I mean, you know, um, um, you know, don’t you?”
“I don’t think so,” Jerry said, cryptically.
“I can’t tell you much, but His parents don’t have much money, and …”
“Which is why they’re in the barn. That makes sense,” Larry said.
“And, well, their kid is supposed to be special,” Jerry said, ignoring his friend’s friendly interruption.
“Special?”
At this point, Larry and Earl sensed that their friend was holding something back from them.
They knew that Jerry had an unusual ability to see things, even for a magi.
Magi are known for their insight, their wisdom, but Jerry seemed to have a special talent, to see what the others couldn’t see.
“Dude,” Larry said.
“What?” Jerry said.
“Um, you know.”
“Come on,” Earl said.
“I’m telling you everything,” Jerry said, picking up on the hints that his friends were leaving.
“Seriously, I am …”
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, you’re not.”
“OK. I’m not,” Jerry said, finally breaking down and admitting what he knew.
“I saw an angel. He told me that this kid, this baby, Christ, He is going to be the Saviour of the world.”
He looked away.
“There. I said it.”
“Whoa!” Earl and Larry both said, in unison.
Perfect unison.
“Man. Christ. The Saviour of the world … So maybe we ought to do something.”
They thought for a minute.
“We should get Him some presents,” Earl said.
Earl was always the thoughtful one.
“What’s a present?” Larry asked.
“I don’t know,” Earl said.
So the magi thought about it for a minute, and then decided that presents were probably the same thing as gifts.
Once they had that settled, they veered off their course for a few minutes, straying off their due-east course and heading slightly northeast, to an all-night bazaar.
Aknan’s.
“Hey, this looks like something,” Larry said once inside the bazaar, holding up something that he’d picked up on Aisle 1.
He was holding up some frankincense.
Whatever frankincense is.
“Should work,” Earl said.
Since it was his idea, he had taken over as leader-designate of the impromptu magi ad-hoc presents committee.
“But we need something else, something, probably, from each one of us. You know, so none of us goes in empty-handed.”
“Good idea,” Jerry agreed.
So they looked for more.
Aknan’s, for an all-night bazaar in the middle of nowhere in the Palestine desert, was well-stocked. They looked through the frankincense aisle a little more, but then, after not finding much other than regular old frankincense, they decided against getting any more.
Then they found some myrrh.
“Dude. Myrrh,” Jerry said, holding a stick of myrrh up for his friends to see.
“Let’s get Christ some myrrh.”
“Yeah,” Earl said. “Myrrh.”
“What’s myrrh?” Larry said.
“It’s, uh, myrrh,” Jerry said, stating the obvious.
Because myrrh is, you know, myrrh.
Not frankincense.
Not, um, other stuff.
It’s myrrh.
“Myrrh,” Jerry said, with the tone in his voice that myrrh was present number two.
So now they had frankincense and myrrh.
They needed something else.
“What are you going to get Him, Earl?” Larry asked.
“I mean, we all need to get Him something.”
Earl shrugged his shoulders.
“How about some gold?” he said.
“I’d bet Christ would like some gold to go along with His frankincense and myrrh.”
“Oh, man,” Jerry and Larry said, almost at the same time.
They were … mad, upset, whatever.
You know.
That they had to give Christ frankincense and myrrh – I mean, whoever heard of frankincense and myrrh? – and Earl got to give Him gold.
Twenty-four karat.
Gold.
It wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t, really, but they got over it.
The magi paid Aknan for the presents – it came out to 30 shekels; they had to get Aknan to put it on their tab – and then got back out on the trail.
Their camels weren’t getting any younger, so, presents in tow, they followed the star in the east, over hill and over dale.
It was a long, arduous journey, and they knew that.
“This is a long, arduous journey,” Larry said.
“We knew that,” Earl said.
So they continued on, until they finally made it to the tiny town of Bethlehem.
“This is it,” Jerry said.
Confidently.
“How do you know?” Earl asked.
“The star,” Jerry said, pointing at … nothing.
“It’s fading. Well, actually, it’s pretty much gone. Or else it’s getting cloudy. But I’m pretty sure it’s fading. Or whatever. Which means this is it. We’re here.”
They wandered around for a minute, literally.
There was only one inn in the tiny town of Bethlehem – called, as it turned out, The Holy Day Inn – so it wasn’t hard for the magi to find where the new mother and father and their baby were out in a barn.
“Wow. Nice,” Jerry said.
“Yeah. For a barn,” Earl said.
They walked to the back door, where they heard the most amazing sound.
It was a baby crying, but it didn’t sound like any other baby crying they’d ever heard before.
It was …
Christ.
“There He is,” Jerry said.
And when they saw the young child, with Mary, His mother, they fell down, and worshipped Him; and when they opened their treasures, they presented unto Him gifts – gold, frankincense and myrrh.
And lo, the angel of the Lord came unto them, and the glory of the Lord shone unto them; and they were sore afraid
And the angel said unto them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Saviour, who is called Christ the Lord.”
And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of heavenly host praising God, and singing, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”
Merry Christmas.
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