Story by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net

It can be hard, to say the least, to manage expectations with regard to cleaning streets and roadways after snowstorms. Which is to say, it can be hard to manage the high level of expectations that we have following storms, namely to have streets and roads cleared as soon as is humanly possible, if not sooner than that.

“Some folks like to think we can spend an unlimited amount of time and money and remove all snow from all street surfaces. That is not a reasonable goal or outcome as we certainly do not have an unlimited amount of time and money,” said Jim Halasz, the assistant city manager in Staunton, which does not have in place specific guidelines setting time deadlines for having streets cleared of snow and ice following storms.

The same is the case in Waynesboro, according to City Manager Mike Hamp. Waynesboro officials do try to operate within a general guideline of having streets in passable condition within 24 hours of a storm in snow events up to 8 inches in accumulation, but dealing with amounts over that threshold can be and has proven to be problematic this winter.

Factors that have to be taken into consideration on that line - how much more than 8 inches we’re talking about, the heaviness of the snow, whether there was sleet or freezing rain mixed in, and the condition of roads prior to the snow event.

The Virginia Department of Transportation, for its part, does have a specific deadline in mind. According to Staunton District VDOT spokesperson Sandy Myers, VDOT’s goal is to have made at least one snow-removal pass on all state-maintained roads within 48 hours after a storm stops.

Myers points out that “this is a goal, and given the amount of snow we have received, in some cases that might not be realistic.”

“Second point - one pass on a road does not mean the road will be down to bare pavement. The road may still have several inches of snow on it - but on most paved secondary roads, the road is passable for vehicles to get out onto the main roads,” Myers said.

The rumblings in Waynesboro have been pronounced with the recent run of winter storms bringing out the different approaches to snow removal taken by VDOT, which takes care of clearing roads and highways in Augusta County, and the city. One AFP reader wrote in today to suggest that the city earmark money from a recent budget surplus to snow removal, assuming like many that the slow go at clearing streets must be budget-related.

In actuality, it’s not a matter of whether the city has the funds to do the job. The city budgets for snow removal from its VDOT urban maintenance funds, Hamp said, and in this rare winter in recent years where the snow-removal cost has exceeded the line item in the budget for snow removal, the city shifts funds within the urban maintenance funds budget that had been earmarked for other projects to go toward snow removal.

So the money is there, generally speaking, to do the job. The issue isn’t so much money, then, as it is capacity.

“We don’t have the resources to handle snow removal that, say, a Syracuse would have, where you have these kinds of heavy-snow events more frequently,” Hamp said.

If you’re a city official in a place like Syracuse, N.Y., you’re going to need to have in your budget a good bit more in the way of snow-removal resources in terms of both equipment and staff to make it through a winter than you are in a locality like Waynesboro, where the average snowfall is less than half what it is in upstate New York.

“We don’t want to mismanage expectations. Our goal is to manage situations faithfully and effectively without deadlines necessarily in place that may or may not be realistic in all cases,” Hamp said.

Take solace, folks. The meteorologists can’t explain why it’s snowing all the time, either.

“To a large extent, it’s just one of those things. But one of those things means we don’t fully understand all the dynamics that go on with this, all the atmospheric physics involved,” said Jerry Stenger, the director of the Virginia State Climatology Office at the University of Virginia.

I had Stenger on the line for a segment on The AFP Show news podcast. My question led him to the “one of those things” quote, the thrust of where I was going with the topic being, Surely you guys know what’s going on, right, or is it just one of those things?

“There does seem to be some interplay with the El Nino conditions that are developing in the South Pacific Ocean, but those are not always very strong indicators of exactly what our winter weather will be,” Stenger said.

“This particular winter, the weather does seem to be linked to the El Nino pattern, but it’s difficult to say exactly how much it’s attributable to that, how much is attributable to other forces in the atmosphere that we really don’t necessarily have quantified at this point,” Stenger said.

This much we do know - the winter storm that could dump 5 to 10 inches of the white stuff on Augusta County, Staunton and Waynesboro could break a record for measured snowfall dating back to the winter of 1898-1899.

Stenger said the official records have the recording station at Staunton at 53.9 inches of snowfall so far this winter. The record: 61 inches back during the winter that the history books say was the year of the Spanish-American War.

The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Warning for Augusta County, Staunton and Waynesboro effective 9 a.m. Tuesday to 4 p.m. Wednesday.

The Greater Augusta region is in line for a possible 5 to 10 inches of snow accumulation due to the storm.

Harrisonburg and Rockingham to our north are in line for a possible 6 to 12 inches of snow from this storm, and the Washington, D.C., and Baltimore, Md., metro areas could see 10 to 20 inches of snow in the next two days.

Today marks the return of The AFP Show. The show features editor Chris Graham talking about the news of the day with guests who add perspective to what is happening in the world around us.

Today’s guests are:
- Jerry Stenger, the research coordinator at the Virginia State Climatology Office at the University of Virginia, who joins us today to talk about winter weather.
- Bradley Reese, a blogger and podcaster who is actively covering the Fifth District congressional race and joins us today to talk politics.

Edited by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net

State Senate backs extended job-training benefits: Virginia’s Senate - led by a unanimous vote among Senate Democrats - passed a bipartisan bill Monday to help put unemployed Virginians back to work by providing extended benefits for job training programs.

SB239 - sponsored by Republican Sen. John Watkins (R-Midlothian) and co-sponsored by Sens. Mamie Locke (D-Hampton), Roscoe Reynolds (D-Martinsville) and Phil Puckett (D-Tazewell) - would help make Virginia eligible for $125 million in federal stimulus funds targeted directly to help unemployed Virginians get back to work. The bill would offer 26 weeks of extended benefits to unemployed Virginians who are going through job training programs.

“I’m glad to see the Senate work together on this bipartisan measure to put Virginians back to work,” said C. Richard Cranwell, chairman of the Democratic Party of Virginia. “Under this bill, more Virginians would be able to get the skills they need to find a new job in this tough economy.”

Watkins’ bill passed by a 31-9 margin, including all 22 Senate Democrats. Nine Senate Republicans voted against the simple measure to put Virginians back to work. Republicans voting no were: Sens. Emmett Hanger (R-Mount Solon), Robert Hurt (R-Chatham) Stephen Martin (R-Chesterfield), Ryan McDougle (R-Mechanicsville), Jeffrey McWaters (R-Va. Beach), Stephen Newman (R-Forest), Mark Obenshain (R-Harrisonburg), Ralph Smith (R-Roanoke) and Frank Wagner (R-Va. Beach).

“It’s a shame that these nine Republican senators chose to play politics instead of standing up for the thousands of Virginians who are looking for jobs,” Cranwell continued. “With unemployment at record levels, all Virginians should come together on bipartisan solutions that put our citizens back to work.”

After today’s passage, the bill will move on to the Republican-controlled House of Delegates.

McDonnell supports update to composite index: Gov. Bob McDonnell announced today that he will support updating the Local Composite Index, the formula which determines state and local education funding responsibility, in the upcoming budget.

The move will mean another proposed change to the introduced budget, which froze the LCI at its current level. The LCI has historically always been adjusted every two years to account for changing local economic conditions. The proposal to freeze the Index was unprecedented, and would have cost certain localities in Northern Virginia $128.3 million in state education funding.

“For nearly forty years, the Local Composite Index has been an impartial means by which to determine state and local responsibility for education funding in Virginia,” McDonnell said. “The application of this Index has always been done in an objective manner, using the most recent fiscal data to most fairly apportion state resources. For many school districts, particularly in Northern Virginia, the biennial update of the Index has meant far less funding from the state than that received by school districts in localities experiencing lesser rates of economic growth. Accordingly, I will not support the proposed freeze in the budget introduced by the previous Administration. The Local Composite Index must be applied to all localities, at all times, in the same objective and fair manner by which it has always been utilized.”

In announcing his decision to undo the proposed freeze of the Index, McDonnell also identified specific budget savings to account for the additional state spending required. The update will cost the state $29 million in FY 2011. To cover this increased funding, McDonnell will recommend to the General Assembly the transfer of $13 million from Literary Fund balances; $8 million through the use of available balances in the Health Insurance Fund to reduce state health insurance premiums; $5.2 million will be found in Real ID savings and an available $3 million will be captured in additional Non-General Fund balances. Budget recommendations will continue to be made and communicated to the legislature in the coming days.

Edited by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net

School Board meeting moved back: The Waynesboro Public Schools will postpone the Tuesday, Feb. 9, Waynesboro School Board Meeting. The meeting has been rescheduled for Thursday, Feb. 11, at 7 p.m. at Kate Collins Middle School in the auditorium.

Bridgewater College receives $124K scholarship grant: The trustees of the Lettie Pate Whitehead Foundation have awarded Bridgewater College $124,000 to be used for need-based scholarships during the 2010-11 academic year, it was announced on Monday.

Bridgewater will receive one-half of the grant money on Aug. 1 and the balance on Dec. 15. The entire grant award will be used for scholarships in the 2010-11 academic year.

The Lettie Pate Whitehead Foundation was established in 1946 by Conkey Pate Whitehead as a memorial to his mother. The primary purpose of the foundation is to provide need-based scholarships to deserving Christian women in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia.

More than 200 institutions participate annually in the Lettie Pate Whitehead scholarship program. Thousands of women receive financial assistance each year in individual amounts determined by the recipient institutions.

While most of the Lettie Pate Whitehead scholarships go toward undergraduate higher education, the Foundation maintains a special interest in health education. A significant number of its scholarship grants support education in the medical, nursing, and allied health care fields.

Bridgewater College, a private, four-year liberal arts college, enrolls more than 1,500 students. Founded in 1880 and located in the Central Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, it was the state’s first private, coeducational senior college.

EMU students win counseling ethics competition: A team of Eastern Mennonite University students in the master of arts in counseling program received a first-place award in the annual national Graduate Student Ethics Competition sponsored by the American Counseling Association (ACA), Alexandria, Va.

Zachary Taylor, West Columbia, S.C.,; Erin Constable, Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada; Tara Kreider, Harrisonburg; and Thomas Smith, Hillsboro, Kan., were among teams nationwide who submitted essays in the

masters level competition. Each essay was reviewed by members of the ACA ethics committee.

The case study involved a counseling intern in a college counseling center. The scenario related to the counselors identity as a white suburban male working with a Latina student discussing her experience with childhood abuse. She reported having taken a covert action that seemed to have contributed to her abuser’s early death. The study contained multicultural, boundaries of competence and mandated reporter issues.

The team prepared a 15-page paper identifying what they believed the dilemma to be, what they felt the most ethical actions should be, the justification for their proposed actions and a description of the decision-making model used in reaching that decision.

Linda Leitch-Alford, associate professor of counseling, teaches a course on professional applied ethics, which the students drew from in preparing their essay.

“To have received first place in this national contest is a statement of the quality of students in our program,” Dr. Leitch-Alford said. “The award is also a significant affirmation of their abilities to apply academic learning to professional situations with excellence. It gives us confidence that they will serve their future clients well,” she added.

Each first place team member will receive a $75 gift certificate to the ACA Bookstore, an ACA Ethics Competition winner’s certificate and a letter of recognition from ACA President Lynn Linde. These will be presented to the EMU team - as well as the two other winning master’s level teams and the top three doctoral level winning teams - at the ACA Annual Conference & Exposition in Pittsburgh, Pa., during the ACA National Awards Ceremony March 21.

Student names, institutions and winning responses of the winning master’s and doctoral teams will also be published in the (month) edition of “Counseling Today” magazine and posted on the ACA website at www.counseling.org.

EMU has 37 students currently enrolled in its MA in counseling program, which is accredited by The Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP). The program offers a 60-semester hour, CACREP-approved track that prepares students for clinical practice as a licensed professional counselor and a dual degree that enables a student to earn both a master of divinity and an MA in counseling degree in less time than if both were pursued separately.

Farm, rural business profitability focus of upcoming forum: The sixth annual Forum for Rural Innovation will be held Friday, March 19, 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the Best Western Lee-Jackson Motor Inn & Conference Center in Winchester.

The purpose of the forum is to showcase new and exciting projects and programs that enhance farm or rural business profitability. The models presented at the forum also focus on conserving farmland and natural resources, and developing new approaches to rural prosperity in upscale areas where land commands premium prices.

The program features presentations from some of the most progressive and recognized farmers and researchers in the region, and will emphasize farming for high-profitability by using innovative and sound business approaches particularly suited to the Mid-Atlantic region.

Forum topics and speakers will include:

- “Trends and Opportunities in Specialty Crops and Cane Berries”
Dr. Reza Rafie, horticulture extension specialist, Virginia State University, Petersburg. Hear an overview of the potential for marketing cane berries and related specialty crops in the Mid-Atlantic region. Also, details of a high tunnel specialty crop trial to be conducted in Northern Virginia in 2010.

- “Internet Marketing 201 - Social Networking As A Marketing Tool”
Janet Childs, owner and marketing director of BreedersWorld.com and VA Lamb, Berryville. Learn how to use low cost, highly effective new tools that get your message and products in front of customers faster than websites alone. A step-by-step presentation on starting and maintaining a cost effective marketing program.

- “Step-By-Step Process For Direct Marketing Meat and Processed Foods”
Barry Jones, Office of Meat & Poultry Services, Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, Lynchburg, and Cindy Martel, marketing and development, W.Va. Department of Agriculture, Charleston, W.Va. Thinking about selling at a farmers market or doing direct sales? This session will answer your questions on what producers need to do to comply with state regulations in order to sell meats and processed foods. Find out if the investment of time and equipment adds value to the bottom line.

- “What I See As Food Innovation in the Mid-Atlantic Region”
Melissa Harris, publisher of Flavor Magazine, Sperryville. Flavor Magazine is an independent publication dedicated to local food, wine, and sustainable agriculture in the D.C. and Virginia Piedmont areas. Learn how this unique regional magazine discovers innovative farms for their articles and hear about some of their favorites.

- “Innovative Ideas for Large Acreage Land Owners and Renters”
Warren Howell, Allder School Berries, Purcellville; Phillip Ramsey, Stoneleigh Farms, Warrenton; and Tyler Wegmeyer, Wegmeyer Farms, Hamilton. What do pumpkins, honey bees, and berries have in common? Hear how these three entrepreneurs have expanded their operations onto larger acreages, and the unique lease arrangements for non-traditional crops.

- “New and Successful Innovative Projects from Across the Region”
A snapshot of efforts being conducted in agriculture development and marketing by members of the group sponsoring the Forum for Rural Innovation. Kellie Boles, Jefferson County, W.Va.; Ray Pickering, Fauquier County; Melissa Nelson, Loudoun County; Mary Beth Bennett, Berkeley County, W.Va.

The registration fee of $35 per person includes the forum program, morning refreshments, and a buffet lunch. Registration information is available online at www.LoudounFarms.org or by calling 703.777.0426. Pre-registration by March 12 is required.

The Forum for Rural Innovation is a cooperative educational effort by the Offices of Agricultural Economic Development and Cooperative Extension in Clarke, Fauquier, Frederick and Loudoun Counties of Virginia; Jefferson and Berkeley Counties, West Virginia; Potomac Headwaters and Shenandoah RC&D; Virginia Cooperative Extension and WVU Extension.

The National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Watch for Augusta County, Staunton and Wayensboro beginning Tuesday morning.

The forecast for Tuesday into Wednesday afternoon calls for possible snow accumulations of 5 inches of snow or more.

Harrisonburg and Rockingham County and locales to their north in the Shenandoah Valley are under a Winter Storm Warning with a forecast for 6 to 12 inches of accumulation possible from the upcoming storm.

The Washington, D.C,, and Baltimore, Md., metro areas are in a Winter Storm Warning area with forecast accumulations of 10 to 20 inches possible from the storm.

Let’s cut right to the chase. Last month tens of millions of Americans witnessed a president break his oath of office. Ten hours later millions of others saw and heard a vice-president do the same on NBC’s Today show. The only difference being that the vice president, as is his custom, took more words to say the same thing.

And yet, pundits - from the crazy right to the looney left - missed these two defining moments of this administration. (Historians please note.) Maybe the press herd was too busy searching for the lead sheep. No one was willing to step up and take a swing for democracy.

When the good guys don’t speak up, all of us are in danger. We are in danger because democracy gradually becomes an endangered specie. Forget about our policy differences over reforming health care, protecting the environment, keeping America safe and leveling the burden of taxation. These differences should be cherished in a democracy! They spring from two different political philosophies.

So let’s forget that which divides us. Let us focus on the one concept that surely unites all Americas. It is the rule of law. When a president zings a frontal attack down from his high dais to nine unarmed men and women dressed in black robes who were invited to sit quietly just a few feet away, we have a problem. The problem is more than another case of bad manners in river city. It is the breaking of an oath made 372 days earlier. As every school child should know, that oath reads: “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

Note the word “faithfully.” Please explain how blasting a law relates to the faithful execution of that same law. You may agree with the pres and his veep that the court’s 5-4 ruling allowing corporations and unions to tap into their treasuries without limitation to fund candidates in federal elections will “open the floodgates for special interests” and therefore should not be allowed. And that Congress should “pass a bill that helps to right this wrong.” That’s OK. But as a columnist I happen to be in favor of free speech.

But that’s not the point here. The point is that President Obama and Vice President Biden violated the spirit of the Constitution. Sure, previous presidents have disagreed with the court’s findings. FDR even tried to “pack the court.” And historians can count on other significant objections. But never so blazingly as to seated justices surrounded by a standing lynch mob of cheering congressmen. That is taking intimidation to a new level.

What’s their excuse? There is none. Our president is a graduate of Harvard Law. He was a professor of constitutional law at the University of Chicago for ten years! He clearly knows better. That is why constitutional law professor Randy E. Barnett at the Georgetown Law Center is convinced that the president’s Solicitor General, Elena Kagan, never saw a State of the Union draft and would never have signed off. In this administration those who work more than a building away from the Oval Office are mere window dressing. (Cabinet members please note.)

As for Mr. Biden. Joey, you, too, know better. Kids from Scranton have made plenty of mistakes in their lifetimes. But I try to restrict my lawlessness to speeding and overtime parking.

When President Eisenhower was charged with executing a court ruling that he personally did not approve what did he do? He sent in federal troops — to enforce racial integration at Central High School in Little Rock, Ark. But Ike was an army general. He was used to carrying out orders.

Let’s get closer to home. Remember when the Supreme Court said that the Virginia Military Institute must accept women within its ranks? Before the decision Superintendent Bunting did everything within his power and influence to prevent admitting women. He said it would unravel the fabric of VMI. After the court’s decision Gen. Bunting did everything he could to admit women in the most successful and effective manner. Neither the superintendent nor the governor called upon the General Assembly to enact a law that would circumvent the court’s ruling. Si, too, is of the old school. An order is an order. A law is a law.

Is it too much to ask for a United States president or a vice president to have the same standards as a superintendent of the Virginia Military Institute?

Remember Congressman Wilson of South Carolina who called out “You lie!” to the president in the same House chamber? Mr. Wilson apologized to Mr. Obama. That was the proper thing to do. Now, the situation is reversed - a presidential apology in order. And this one need not be on foreign soil. It can be in a classroom. The good professor could then explain the separation of powers found in the Constitution.

Column by Jarret Adams
Submit guest columns: freepress2@ntelos.net

Right now, nuclear energy is expanding around the world. According to the World Nuclear Association, there are 50 reactors under construction across the globe and another 130 (and counting) scheduled to come online over the next decade.

The nuclear renaissance is happening.

Today the world demands clean, low-carbon energy sources to prevent further increases in carbon-dioxide emissions. That is why we are seeing increasing interest in nuclear energy as well as renewable technologies such as wind and solar.

In the United States, nuclear energy is by far the largest source of electricity that does not produce greenhouse gas emissions. In fact, 72 percent of the nation’s emissions-free electricity comes from nuclear power.

At AREVA, we believe nuclear energy must be part of any solution to reduce harmful emissions and provide affordable, clean electricity to the country. Nuclear energy is just one part of the equation, a range of clean energy sources, including renewables, are needed. But in realistic terms, the United States would be hard pressed to meet its energy and climate goals without nuclear energy.

From California to New York, companies like AREVA are planning a new generation of nuclear energy plants. The Nuclear Regulatory Commission has received 17 applications to license 25 new reactors and is working hard to review them. Included among these are four AREVA U.S. EPR™ reactors. These four domestic reactors are in addition to the four EPR™ reactors AREVA has under construction worldwide.

These new nuclear facilities will do more than produce clean, reliable electricity. These projects will inject billions of dollars of investment into local communities and create thousands of high-paying jobs.

We must tackle the challenges of reducing emissions and creating a clean-energy economy. Nuclear energy is a reliable, clean-energy source, capable of generating jobs where they are needed most. New nuclear plants should be part of the nation’s energy solution.

Jarret Adams is a spokesman for AREVA Inc., based in Bethesda, Md.

A sagacious senior observed, “We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.”

Case in point: you’re about to get another punnelling from your Punsylvania pun pal. Don’t look, Ethel!

Too late - may as well grin and bear it, starting with this burning question:

Why is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

And why does it take so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Why is there a light in the ‘fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is it that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Supreme Court justices refer to their homes as ‘legal pads’?

Did you hear about the high-ranking military father who cloned himself? The result was a Major Faux Pa.

Who was the world’s first and wisest financier? Noah, because he floated stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation. Did he keep the bees in the arc-hives?

My advise: stop reading now, before things get verse (or adverse - that’s making a poem longer).

Don’t squat with your spurs on. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. And never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

At a job interview, I said I had experience as an illusionist and as a window cleaner. They saw right through me (what a pane).

I’ve never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food (that’s udder nonsense). Think I’ll milk this for all it’s worth (not much) . . .

When I bought some fruit trees, the nursery owner gave me some insects to help with pollination. They were free bees (buzz off!).

Look up these daffynitions in your Funk & Wagnalls . . .

Acoustic: what you shoot pool with. Oh, that’s my cue . . .

Astronaut: A whirled traveler; the only person who is glad to be down and out.

Budget: A pay-as-you-go plan that doesn’t let you go anywhere; a detailed record of how you managed to spend more than you earned.

Chiropractor: one who works his fingers to your bone and whose fees are all back pay.

Dieting: practicing girth control - or mind over platter.

Driving ambition: a teenager wanting to buy a car.

Flattery: soft soap and 90% lye.

Maintenance-free: when it breaks, it can’t be fixed.

Mean temperature: anything below 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

Middle age: about 10 years older than you are.

Nostalgia: the longing you feel when you find the present tense and the past perfect (nostalgia sure ain’t what it used to be).

Pessimist: one who always takes the cynic route.

Pickpocket: a person who finds things before people lose them (at a five-finger discount).

Refrigerator: a place used to store leftovers until they are ready to be thrown out.

Scholarly debate: feud for thought.

It’s so quiet now I can almost hear a pun drop . . .

The first flea market started from scratch.

I have a fear of needles. They really get under my skin.

Global warming is quite the heated topic.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

A carpenter must have been here. I saw dust (and started to bite my nails).

“Did the movie have a happy ending?”

“Yes, everyone was glad it was over.”

(Sorta like this column).

First church member: “The sermon reminded me of the peace of God - it passed all understanding.”

Second member: “It reminded me of the mercies of God - I thought it would endure forever.”

Which prompts me to ask: When ministers rehearse their sermon, are they practicing what they preach?

Man phoning the Weather Bureau: “I just shoveled 11 inches of ‘partly cloudy’ off my driveway - if you get my drift.”

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Give a dandelion an inch and it takes over a yard.

I’ve made up my mind to re-sod my lawn. It was a turf decision.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Doctor: “Could you pay for an operation if I thought one was necessary?”

Me: “Would you think one was necessary if I couldn’t pay for it?”

Amazing how many things come full circle (and I keep going round in them).

These many years later, I have a natural fear of full-length mirrors (visual vertigo), I’m dry - literally and figuratively - much of the time, and even when hungry, I’m not allowed to eat anything that’s good (other than my words).

So what’s left? Just years of experience, which is something I don’t get until just after I need it, along with numerous reminders that I don’t learn much when my mouth is moving.

Case closed.