The Augusta Free Press

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
Ever been terrorized by skunks?
Yeah. It’s no fun.
I’m a prisoner in my house. And keep in mind, I live downtown. Not exactly a natural habitat for skunks.
(Well, City Hall is down at the end of the block … “Skunks!”
I didn’t need to say much else.
My wife had just had [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
I’ve got a face made for radio, er, podcasting.
The good news for you guys - I’m not in HD.
“You have to be really careful about what you’re doing each and every day. Because imperfections show up a lot more in high-definition. It’s a lot less forgiving,” said Neal [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
“Whaddya mean, you can’t do anything to stop the war in Iraq?”
It’s funny what people ask you about when you press the flesh, which I’m doing basically every day and have been for weeks now heading into my May 6 election.
“What is your position on the city assessor?” [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
“I’m the … king of England!”
“No, you’re not.”
My friend Eli was feeling full of himself.
We’d started a neighborhood knothole gang of sorts back when we were kids, and kept it going over the years.
Every year, we elect a new person-in-charge - you know, to arrange our monthly soirees [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
I can’t imagine what it’s like to run for president.
OK, I can.
I’m running for city council in my hometown, and I did so knowing full well what could end up happening.
“C’mon, people like me, respect me. No way this one ends up in the gutter.”
Ahem.

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
I know that the farmers need the rain.
I’ve long since gotten that.
The weather people tell us that constantly.
Why don’t they ever go on and on about how, I dunno, the humor writer needs sun and 80 degrees?
I mean, it wouldn’t hurt me if I had that as the [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
I think we learned yesterday that we can rest assured that our law-enforcement folks are going to keep us safe no matter what.
“We had one here in Waynesboro,” Waynesboro police chief Doug Davis told me, referring to the shootings reported overnight Wednesday and Thursday on Interstate 64 in [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
I know I’ve done TV and radio for years and years, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get nervous when …
“Quiet on the set!”
Ahem, I’m getting interviewed.
And that was the case earlier today in Charlottesville, when I was in the crosshairs on “Comcast Newsmakers,” a locally produced [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
I just finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird, and lemme tell ya …
It’s a cryin’ shame that my high-school English teacher had us watch the movie instead.
I understand why. Harper Lee was true to 1935 Alabama in her language, and it included an uncomfortable, to say the least, [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
A friend suggested to me recently that I write about what life is like on the campaign trail.
“It would be neat for people who don’t know what goes on inside a campaign to find out what it’s really like,” was how he pitched the idea to me.
My retort: [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
Want to know what life’s like on the campaign trail?
We made 10 gallons of fruit salsa Monday night. Dished it out Tuesday night.
Still have a gallon in the fridge.
You know how much a gallon of fruit salsa really is?
Half the fridge is fruit salsa.
We barely had it in [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
Funny how Hillary Clinton has turned the momentum of her campaign around with a TV commercial asking America who they would rather have in the White House taking a 3 a.m. phone call.
You know, considering the 3 a.m. phone calls that used to come into the White House [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
And I’m thinking that I want to lead Waynesboro into the future …
“Um, Benzi … no! We’re not … OK.”
This is what happens every day now when I take my beloved miniature poodle for her early-afternoon walk.
And actually, I could say that something similar comes up when we [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
Virginia is going to have a vice-presidential nominee soon.
Just has to be in the cards.
I mean, Tim Kaine is all over the airwaves, for one.
Last week, the wife turns on “Fox News Sunday,” and there our governor is, Sunday morning, 9 a.m., sitting in studio.

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
I wrote a year ago or so about the Stupid Downtown Waynesboro Stoplight.
You know the one. Sits there at the intersection of Main and Wayne. Takes forever and a daggone day to cycle folks through.
Everybody I know who has to drive through downtown to get where they’re going [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
Ever call a wrong number and then have somebody call you right back and give you hell?
“You just called my phone number. What the #$%^ did you want?”
And you want to say - “I was trying to call my wife/sister/best friend/chiropractor/somebody else important, but, you know, sometimes you [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
I used to hate Newt Gingrich.
I’m still not that big a fan. But you know what? I met him once, actually last year, as it turned out on the day of the Virginia Tech shootings, when he happened to have a speech scheduled up the road at James [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net
“Remember me? You wrote about me a few years ago. Said I was ‘the first bag lady of Waynesboro.’ “
Of course I remembered her. Bonnie Kiblinger. Collects aluminum and just about everything else, takes it all to the recycling center, donates the proceeds to area nonprofits.
Been doing it [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
newdominion@ntelos.net
The first thing that caught my attention regarding the news of the tragic shootings at Northern Illinois University yesterday - how quiet the media seemed to be about the whole thing.
Remember the wall-to-wall coverage of the shootings at Virginia Tech that commenced pretty much as the echoes of [...]

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Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
freepress2@ntelos.net 
I’d been growing a beard for a few months - well, not exactly growing one, you know, as much as just not shaving a two- or three-day growth of stubble off, hoping to get that Don Johnson look from “Miami Vice” vibe going for me and all.
And then [...]

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