Valley Blue Dog | GOP Diversity: Can’t we all just get along?
Once upon a time, the GOP was monolithic with issues, so what’s up with the Republican Party of late? Over the past 30 years, the Grand Old Party has been reduced to mudslinging political infighting. GOP Chairman Michael Steele calls this hot-butter popcorn. Popcorn? Not a chance. I believe it’s a case of true colors and say the root cause is a diversity issue.
Say what, Blue Doggie?!?! You’re saying diversity matters with the Republican Party?
Let’s dissect my political theory de jour.
The Blue Dog says there’s seven types of Republicans: Southern, Evangelical, Business-type, John Birch Society, Neo-Conservative, Fiscal Conservative, and Moderates.
Southern Republicans: These old codgers and sublime racist are still fighting the Civil War while claiming it’s a State Rights issue 150 years after the Confederate Rebels lose to the Union, err… I meant to say lose to the United States of America.
I ain’t whistling Dixie, either.
Evangelical Republicans: Dobson, Reed, Falwell, Roberson and Haggerty want to bring back the Puritan witch trials and then imprison all non-Christians, Liberals, Homosexuals, Pro-Choice advocates and the Free Press while enforcing their ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ Biblical morality on the United States of America, err … I meant to say the CSA? That being the Christian States of America, after all, these evangelicals have their own Christian Flag flying in the face of the US Constitution and Bill of Rights. Say Amen and pass the cornbread.
Business-type Republicans: They want, err… I meant to say need to return to the non-regulated, monopolistic and robber-baron days with no middle class and subjugate the working class into corporate-socialist serfdom. How rich! Let them eat cake! And to H-E-Double Hockey sticks with their savings and mortgages.
John Birch Society Republicans: Still fighting the commies 20 years after the Berlin Wall fell. These McCartney Era-Inspired Republicans are still railing against President Roosevelt’s New Deal as a social experiment 60 years after the fact. It’s a return to the Gun, Guts and Glory Days. But alas, their Blue Book is out-of-print.
Neo-Conservative Republicans: These new wave GOP members are still attempting to impeach the Clintons while gutlessly forgiving President Bush Jr. for lying about weapons of mass destruction and the War in Iraq and 6,000 American troop deaths all in the name of nation-building democracy? Not. The Blue Dog is curious as to how much GW Bush’s bloody oil stock is worth?
Fiscal Conservative Republicans: This jaded lot still can’t manage to balance a federal budget with the likes of presidents Reagan, Bush, and Bush Jr. at the helm. In fact, it’s the reverse with high-rolling deficits and huge spending sprees and pork barrel politics.
Fuzzy Math gone mad, I say.
Moderate Republicans: A dying breed? Yes. The most recent victim is retired Virginia Sen. John Warner. Most of these moderates voted for Democrat Obama in the 2008 presidential election.
Thank goodness another moderate, Mark Warner, replaced him.
Fliush the Rush?
How could the GOP seriously ally themselves with a draft-dodging, fake-named, arrogant, loudmouth shock jock with a narcotic addiction and obvious eating disorder as the leading spokesman of the Grand Old Party?
The self-appointed head of the Republican Grand Illusion Party, Rush Limbaugh, has been tasked with rallying the GOP support to see President Obama fail as the nation’s leader.
In comments over the weekend, GOP Chairman Steele called Limbaugh’s rhetoric “incendiary” and “ugly” and insisted that he is in charge of the GOP.
Is the Steele and Limbaugh infighting is nothing more than an elephant-on-elephant bitch-slap fest?
Virginia Gov. and Democratic National Committee chairman Tim Kaine says Rush Limbaugh is the Republican “Godfather.” Because Limbaugh says he wants Obama’s “socialist policies” to fail, including the economy, the stock market and unemployment to stay sky-high for the next four years.
The Washington Post reported the GOP Chairman Michael Steele’s Democratic counterpart was “briefly encouraged” by Steele’s “courageous” remarks.
“However, Chairman Steele’s reversal this evening and his apology to Limbaugh proves the unfortunate point that Limbaugh is the leading force behind the Republican Party, its politics and its obstruction of President Obama’s agenda in Washington,” Kaine said in a written statement.
Yo, Timmy! Score a slam-dunk for the new Democratic chairman.
More to the point, GOP Chairman Steele is a bench-warming party leader.
It’s been reported when Katie Couric appeared on David Letterman’s “Late Show” this past week. Letterman called Limbaugh a “bonehead” and asked her, ”What about this bonehead Rush Limbaugh? Honest to God, I mean, what is going on there? He gets up in Washington and he’s the keynote speaker at some function and he comes up and he looks like an East European gangster. He’s got the black jacket on, the black silk shirt and it’s unbuttoned like, oh yeah, when you think Rush Limbaugh, you think, ‘Ooh, let’s see a little flesh.’ Honestly. What is he doing?”
Oooh, yeah, baby! American loves hot sweaty elephant-sized politicos.
This ‘Too Sexy for his Butterball Body’ Rush Limbaugh was looking like the GOP ‘Mac Daddy’ at the recent 2009 CPAC.
Blue Dog Translation: MAC DADDY is a term to describe a Daddy Pimp.
Does that make Rush Limbaugh’s Republican Fan Club his conservative brothel?
‘Nuff said.
- Column by Steven Sisson
Related posts:
- Valley Blue Dog: Republican Tricks, Democratic Treats! Column by Steven Sisson Halloween is a time for dressing up in a costume and wearing a mask and having fun. But grownups wear masks,...
- The Valley Blue Dog: Notes from the dirty campaign trail Column by Steven Sisson Our presidential campaign has sunk lower than the Wall Street stock index. Down, down, down … Republican operatives have historically gone...
- The Valley Blue Dog: Sarah Palin is a Closet Socialist Column by Steven Sisson Yes, Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin is a Closet Socialist. The governor’s state of Alaska receives more federal dollars, in subsidies...
- The Valley Blue Dog: The Manchurian Candidate and Eskimo Barbie Column by Steven Sisson Is the McCain-Palin campaign fueling racism, hatred and divisiveness? Of course, the answers to the question are yes, yes, yes, but...
- The Valley Blue Dog: Do as I say, not as I do? Column by Steven Sisson It’s becoming clear as mud after last night’s debate that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is worst running mate since Thomas Eagleton...
Chris, I understand the lefts obsession with Rush, it simple he get about 25 million people to tune in a week. More then all of the primetime MSNBC shows put together, I do agree the suit he wore at CPAC was a bit over the top. If he is such a fool then why do the Dems care what he says, I think the honeymoon with the Obama administration is coming to an end so its time to defect some attention. Why can’t I want Obama’s policies fail? The left did every thing it could to hurt GWB’s, policies why can the left hope for failure but not the right?
You’re asking the wrong person why people on the left care about Rush, C.W. You don’t see me writing anything about him. I think he’s irrelevant to a point where it’s a pointless exercise to discuss whatever it is that he does.
I do wonder why you want Obama’s policies to fail. At some point, I’d think you’d want to get beyond politics in a non-election year and think about where we are as a country. Run against Obama in 2012. From now ’til then, let’s get our country moving forward.
I wonder why the left wants it both ways; they can make GWB into a villain for eight years but hands off BHO. It was patriotic to question Bush be its racist to question Obama. This is not personal, I really don’t get it… and that’s my fault…
Same thing for the right, C.W. Bush was off-limits for criticism for eight years, and now it’s Katie bar the door on criticizing Obama. It’s the pendulum swinging.
That’s odd, VBD.
You forgot my breed: Paleoconservatives, perhaps the most important one.
Paleoconservatives feel we’ve lost touch with our nationalism. We feel that the likes of George Bush are far too apologist and WEAK for our tastes. We want a tough bird for our president. You don’t declare that Islam is a religion of peace a couple of weeks after we were attacked and our people were murdered in the name of radical Islam. That was the biggest morale blow to our country and yes, he was pandering to Muslims.
Paleoconservatives are also against Federalism. We believe in specific local rule, the aspect of private property, and very little bureaucracy because we feel that government is far too big. We also want to abolish the Department of Education since our children’s textbooks are filled with lies and deception. Abraham Lincoln was a racist and McCarthyism is a myth. The man never got to finish the job, and yes, the overwhelming majority of those “Communist Suspects” were all Liberals. Don’t go by what I say. Read up on the Venona Decrypts but don’t hit the Wikipedia link since it’s far too limited a source to even start with. And avoid reading it up through Ann Coulter. She may have some of the facts but she waters it down too much with her political ideology.
Further, we do not believe that government should dole out a national health care plan. To do so spells the beginnings of Socialism – where the have nots expect more handouts and become even more lazier, expecting not only government handouts, but handouts from people like myself who worked hard to earn a decent living, own a nice home, property, healthy family, while some lazy person sits at home expecting their medical marijuana and free care while it comes out of my pocket.
Sorry for the rant but there’s a lot of us paleocons out there. Most of us lost faith with the Republican Party and ended up providing support for the Constitutional Party instead.
To any Republican out there: Let’s face it. Bush was a panderer and McCain was even worse. Also, both were committed to globalism just like this current chimp of a president they own is committed to the same destructive path: America loses her nationalism, sense of pride, and caves into following a one-world government.